Day 84: The world welcomes a new one.

I'm counting down the days until I get home for a few reasons.

1. I miss my friends & family.

....

Well, I guess there is only one. BUT its a legit reason nonetheless. I'm also very excited to meet a new little person. Bruno had a baby yesterday. Well, his woman friend did. I don't think boys can have babies yet. Technology isn't that far advance, I promise you. For some reasons, I always get thinking way to in depth about things. For this case, I got thinking how I've known Bruno for only 1 1/2 years & when I met him he never had sex. It's not creepy that I mention it because I remember specically him & I got into a heart to heart conversation when I was back home in Chicago & we just spilled everything to each other. That being one of the topics of discussion. He also, called me the day he had sex...I got some good friends, let me tell ya. They tell me EVERYTHING. Like I give a damn but I'm flattered.

Besides the point, we now have a new little member. His name is Harley James. He might be just another baby to the world, but he is Bruno's baby. This baby will define Bruno most definatly & show him how big of a man he really is. I can't say how proud of him I am. It takes a huge person to take on their consiquiences for thier actions. Most people just run believe it or not.

Anyways, I also woke up & had some in sight hit me. This is what I figured out about life:

Not to be pissed about the small things or choices people make. If it wasn't meant to be, it wasn't meant to be. What they choose is their...well...choice, not mine. Everything will fall into place with do time.

'Maybe it's time to change and leave it all behind. I've never been one to walk alone; I've always been scared to try. So, why does it feel so wrong to reach for something more? To want to live a better life, what am I waiting for? Because nothing stays the same. Maybe it's time to change.'

I love this boy already.

Day 77-83: I'm not diggin' this.

I hate not posting. I feel like everything I ever said about making sure I post everyday is a big hardy lie. Most of you (except for the few Hallmark kids that read my blog) have no idea how hard this school is. Here is how it usually goes:

1.Wake up (if I sleep that night due to insomnia) at 6am only to find my other room mate in the bathroom before me, using all the hot water. Wait till said water is nuked & then shower at 6:45am.

2.Get ready. Which I always seem to rush since we...

3.Leave at 7:30am. Though school doesn't start until 8am & we live 2 miles away from it.

4.Classes till 12pm. Which include assignment after assignment that coincidentally all end up being due the SAME DAY of next week. Usually Tuesdays.

5. Lunch until 1pm.

6. Classes until 5pm. UNLESS I am night manger until 9pm.

7. Go home to usually an empty house.

8. Sit in my room until whenever.

9. (If I'm feeling saucy) go for a run.

10. Sleep (if any).

There are 10...yes only TEN steps to a 24 hour day. This is ridiculous. I should be having fun, living it up and being with my friends. Chea...hardly seem friendly if you ask me. People here are so strange. I don't mean strange as in 'i don't want to be around you because you give me the heebie-jeebies'. I mean how they are to each other I suppose. It's way too hard to explain.

I miss my family & the people that understand me for who I am. They are used to me & how I am as a person. No one here seems to get it.

The last week has been really rough. These are the kind of days that I can't stand. I'm usually a very optimist person but lately, I don't know if it's worth the effort anymore.

Day 74-77: The deed is done...

So I did what every college kid does at least once in their college life experience...I got hammered.

Yes, shame on me for drinking at college. No, seriously, shame on me. I never was a drinker nor do I want to become an avid one. I've only been drunk a totally of 3 times in my underaged life time. It also has been a while since I have drank & with all the stuff that I've been through this year & how it recently started to eat at me, I thought 'what the hell, why not?' At that point a decided to 'party hardy' for the first time in my college life.

Hell if I remember what happened last night. It's scary waking up & not knowing what you did a night post (that means the night before). From what Maine made it out to seem, I was an obnoxious moron but I think she may have over exaggerated. Everyone else said that I was a blast & super funny which is much more believable in my case. Regardless of what everyone thought, I did something that was absolutely stupid on my half. 13 shots, 2 glasses of wine & 1 beer later:


I told Colorado I liked him.


Point blank, flat out told him. I mean, it was inevitable. I would have told him eventually, I just wish my stupid mouth could have waited for a more private time rather than the moment where my kitchen was chalk full of our friends. I can't help it, I'm an open person sober but a VERY open person when intoxicated. Pretty sure I said something about how 'No Shave November isn't doing me any justice'. Anyways, I figure everything happens for a reason & what's done is done; life goes on. I'm pretty sure he doesn't feel that same about me anyways, which is okay but upsets me a little since I dig him a lot. Then again...who doesn't in our school. I'd drop dead in awe if I caught his eye just a slight bit more than any other chick that thinks he's fly. That's his decision, however. All I can do is be myself & take what's thrown at me, let it be good or bad.

Hangovers suck by the way.

Also, here is an interpretation I did of my teacher during studio time. Minus a smile.



He also has a copy on his office door.

Day 60-74: THE BIG SURPRISE!

This whole 'one post a day' nonsense is...well...nonsense. I don't mean to neglect my blog, it's just that this schooling stuff is more intense than I thought. We also have a Phase I portfolio due on Monday & I so far have one 4 of the 10 photographs we need. So, yet again, I will tell you roughly what went down since I last posted.

We got a million projects that were due first thing on Monday morning which is partially why I haven't been posting lately. That's besides the point however. On Friday my class was scheduled to go to NYC for a photography convention. I decided that going home to surprise my family & friends would be much more logical since I'm from the city of Chicago & cities do anything but thrill me. So, I hopped on a plane & headed home. This is how I surprised everyone & their reactions:

Ashley: She picked me up from the airport, so she knew I was coming home for a good 2 weeks before hand. Even though she picked me up, her reaction was (what I would guess) the same as if she did not know I was homeward bound. She hugged me & cried. We did so in a lane that wasn't meant for parking but chose to park there anyways.

Emma: As we drove back to my place, I told her to go through the front door & I would go through the front. As she went into the front & shot the breeze with Emily in the bathroom while she was doing her hair. I crept up from behind Ashley & Emma peaked her head over to meet mine. She stared at me for a while in what seemed to be disbelief. She then let out her 'Emma Screech' (which is in the slightest way very manly) & ran to give me a hug.

Kelly: Emma's reaction lead to Kelly coming out of my parents' bedroom to see what all the commotion was about. She found me standing in the hallway hugging Emma, in which she joined the hallway hug fest. After that she thought it was s good idea to call my mom to tell her that the 'package' came. So she did. She wanted to see the said 'package' so we went to her work to do so.

Mom: I hid in the trunk where I jumped out at her when she opened it. I don't know why but seeing my mom that happy made me extremely happy. She cried & hugged me for a good 10 mins. Unfortunately, I had more people to surprise, like Grace. So, we left & headed to the mall where she works.

Grace: Her reaction was the best! I'm just going to start off saying that. The way I surprised her is I Had Emily go tell her to come by a rack of clothes as if someone did something to it. When she came over I ruffled through the leather jackets (don't ask me why I chose leather jackets to hide in) & jumped out at her. Her reaction was a mast amount of flailing arms & a screech that a God himself would cringe at. After the murderous into, she threw her arms around me & cried. Next up was Amy.

Amy: Just like Grace, Amy was at work. Simply enough, I hid behind some games & she walked behind where I jumped out at her. She, like everyone else, cried. I don't know why everyone was crying. It's only been a couple months since they have seen me last. But I do think they aren't used to the whole 'me not being around' idea yet. At least they have each other, I have no one out here besides a few people like Alaska, Massachusetts, Maine & Colorado.

Dad: On the way back to our house. My Dad almost t-boned us. So, that's pretty much how that went down. Though I think he was happy to see me since he whipped around the car so our windows met & asked me what I was doing here.

The rest of the weekend flew by so damn fast. Before I knew it, it was Sunday & I had to head back to my house. When I got back home, I wasn't in the best mood. It was a mix of things that had me upset & sadly I'm still kind of feeling down but I know that come Thanksgiving I'll see them again. I have NO idea what I'm going to do from January-June when I'm not going to see them at all.